Breaking Point
by Erin Elric
Summary: Jean has been suffering from nightmares... can anyone help him? Can anyone stop him from breaking? A Jean/Mikasa story. One shot.


**A/N: So this story takes place sometime after the anime, because I have yet to read the manga. If anyone is OOC I'm sorry :) Please enjoy this Jeankasa story.**

Breaking point

Jean Kirstein was well aware of things around him or at least he had thought he was. Maybe a little bit too aware. He had noticed the changes come over him very slowly. It all began in Trost several years ago during the invasion of the Titans. The nights that followed after the invasion he could barely sleep, he was plagued by nightmare far too vivid for any human to handle. It began slowly a few nights a week he would dream of seeing one of his comrades get killed or ate by a Titan and after wards he would wake up in a cold sweat. Scared far too scared to consider sleeping ever again, he would often wonder if the others had the same problem or was he just going insane. Frequently he would leave the dorm and his best friend Marco would check on him talk to him make him laugh share his own nightmares whatever it took to calm him down and get him to go back to bed. This went on for a while until one day Marco didn't return back to base. Jean would catch himself wondering about his friend. Looking back on it his thoughts about what could have happened to his friend was unrealistic. Things such as he ran out of gas or his 3D gear was just damaged, or even he had broken a leg. But in the end he told himself his friend was fine and he would return to base and find him laughing and acting like normal.

Sadly for Jean that day would never come. In the course of a few days the horrors of the real world was pushed upon him. He found his best friend half eaten by a Titan and dead in a corner and no one noticed. His horrors where almost coming true him finding a friend dead and even worse he realized no one noticed that he was gone, no one but him. These thoughts rattle him to his core. Nearly every night after that the nightmares become worse and in almost all of them he sees his friend's broken body. He then resolves to join the Scouts like the other idiots he knows. After that the nightmares grew worse.

Sometime after joining the Scouts he realized that he was slowly falling apart. Every single day a piece of his sanity was being chipped away. He felt like he was barely together holding onto little pieces that where once Jean Kirstein wondering what happened to him to make him so broken. He tried to put on a good front into front of the others but sadly the front didn't last for long.

Jean yawned. He had been fighting sleep for so long he had almost forgotten it existed. He stretched as far as he could yawning again; he rubbed his eyes he hated feeling this way. Every night he had this challenge he knew he needed to sleep but… he closed his eyes visions of Titan's flashed before him and his eyes jerked open. He finally sighed while standing up. He was the last one left in the dining area everyone else had long gone to bed. He rubbed his eyes he had put off the inevitable long enough it was either go to bed or sleep on the table.

He made his ways back to the boys' dorm. Everyone was fast asleep and Eren was snoring. He considered kicking the suicidal idiot's bed and waking him but what was the point. He lay down on the bed and got under the sheets. Saying a quick prayer hoping for a night with no nightmares he closed his eyes.

_Jean was out on a mission with the other Scouts. He heard Commander Erwin yell. "Watch your front!"_

_ His brown eyes focused on the sight before him. A horde of Titans was running to them, within a blink of an eye the monsters where in front of them. _

_ His comrades where ripped from their horses killed where they stand. He screams falling off his own horse which runs from him. Some the hideous creatures start their attack on his friends he was helpless he could not move as he watched them pick up them up one by one and eat them until all that remained was him. _

_ Crying that was all that he was good for anyways now. He felt a shadow fall over him. His breath caught in his throat as he slowly looked up. Before him was a Titan one that looked almost like Eren in his Titan form. He screamed as the giant picked up off the ground lifted him above his head and opened his mouth._

Jean bolted up right in bed. Cold sweat was beaded on his forehead he gasped for air. Why did he try to go to sleep? He shivered for a moment giving up on the idea of sleep. He climbed out of bed. He could hear the others still sleeping none bothered by his sudden waking. At least he didn't cry out this time. He walked toward the door stopping at Eren's bed. He shivered again thinking about being eaten by a Titan. Every night he had dreams similar to that one and every night it was a different person that was the Titan that ate him. He shook his head trying to clear his mind when he heard a quite.

"Jean, are you okay?" It was Eren who spoke half asleep.

"I'm good." He mumbled. He turned away. He had almost forgotten he had woken them up time and time before screaming or crying out in his sleep. He covered himself with his arms and whispered. "I'm going to go down stairs and try to sleep… at least I won't wake you guys up."

As he left he heard him mumble something. He went down the stair quickly. Surprisingly the fireplace was still lit. He reached the seating area and found Mikasa sitting there with a mug in her hand. Crap. He turned to leave maybe he would sleep outside or in the barn when he heard her say.

"Jean."

He turned to look at her. She was strikingly beautiful his heart nearly leaped into his throat nightmare almost forgotten. She was sitting on the couch she moved over a cousin and looked at it inviting him over. He paused than made his way to her faster than he should have. Sitting beside her she handed him a mug of his own. He let out a thanks before sitting it down. Tea was nice and all but the last thing he needed was caffeine. He wondered how she knew he would be here he went to ask her but all that came out was.

"Can't sleep?"

She shook her head the mug was by her lips. She sipped it and he watched a little too closely as she sat it down.

"Me neither."

She sighed and said. "I noticed." She pulled her scarf over her mouth and said something that sounded like. "We all noticed."

He yawned. Not knowing what to say. He hadn't had a coherent thought since the nightmares began. He felt something touch his hand he looked down to see her delicate hand on his.

"It's normal…" She pulled her hand away then added. "To have nightmares I mean."

He figured either Eren or Armin told her about his waking up and leaving in the middle of night. He was the last one to come to bed wake up in the middle of the night screaming, and running before they had a chance to ask what was wrong. He didn't want to bother them… he didn't want to feel this way. He felt her hand return to his with more confidence he finally asked. "Which one of them told you?"

Either she ignored him or didn't want to answer all she said was. "Your performance has been decreasing." She looked at him her face cold and unreadable. "You're going to die."

He flinched. Realization that she was right washed over him at the same time he denied it. "No I…"

"You can't live like this…" she wrapped her hand around his. He wasn't sure if she was trying to comfort him or what she was doing. A small sigh escaped her lips.

He looked away shame washing over his face. Considering taking his hand back he said. "I know I can't but… I can't stop it." He felt tears stinging the back of his eyes. No, not now. A sob escaped his mouth. He couldn't hold back. He felt his soul crack open and his heart poured out. "I can't seem to control it." He sobbed. He took his hand way from her and covered his face trying to stop the tears and hide his face. He was embarrassed to act this in front of her but it didn't matter now. "I'm not like you… or the others I can't block it out." He felt her hands on his shoulders. She must had been closer than he thought as he heard her whisper in his ear.

"We all have nightmares… we all have felt this way from time to time. It doesn't make you weak." She pulled him closer to her and whispered almost seductively. "It makes you human."

His body shook with sobs as she held him close. She whispered soothing words to him as she played his hair trying to sooth him to sleep. He felt himself getting tired again he looked up at her and whispered. "I love you."

Her eyes widened a bit as he said it again. He laced his fingers with hers and held her hand for a moment. She studied him. She had never in a position like this before. Blush rose on her cheeks she had thought that if she talked to him he would be okay but… He said it again and she felt her heart quicken… Maybe the reason she really cared was… She looked at his smiling face he looked happy for once. She thought about what to say when suddenly she felt something press her lips. Her eyes widened when she realized they were kissing. He pulled away.

"Sorry… I just wanted to… thank you for…" He was blushing. Considering running back to bed she suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close returning the kiss. She was pretty sure her heart would explode as he kissed her back. This was not the plan she had in mind. She felt his hands explore her back then reach the scarf. She thought about stopping him as he kissed her neck sending tingling feelings along her body. She needed to stop this before they went too far. The scarf came off her neck she decided that she needed to stop him before they went way too far but the taller teen fell over against her knocking her flat on her back on the couch. She felt herself blushing along with other emotions when she heard his light breathing. She realized that he had fallen asleep.

She let out a sigh as she played with his hair wondering how far she would have allowed herself to go with him. She did like him honestly but… she blushed again remembering what had happened. She saw that her scarf was trapped in his hand. Fearing that reclaiming it would wake him up she let him keep it. She ran her fingers along his face as he sighed in his sleep. So peaceful.

She had gone against her own plan all she wanted was to calm him down and give some advice. After days of hearing Eren and Armin saying that the teen would wake up screaming she began to try to keep an eye on him. She watched his performance in battle decrease and others began to notice as well. They were comrades they looked out for one another right? That's what she told herself when she finally got enough information to come up with a way to help him. She thought she could just be blunt with him like she is with Eren but… Jean isn't Eren. Jean is Jean he didn't need to hear harsh words from her he needed… to be loved apparently. She moved her body so that his head was on her shoulder.

His face buried into her neck and one arm was draped across her side. At least he wasn't on top of her now and she could get away if she had to… if she wanted to that is. She heard someone walking towards them. She figured she knew who it was before she saw her brown haired brother standing by the side of the couch.

Eren crinkled his face and shook his head. "Mikasa, I didn't know this was part of the plan."

"It wasn't."

He let out a sigh holding up the blanket. "Figured you might get cold…" He looked at the other teen who was still sound asleep. He frowned. "But I see you have a man blanket."

She glared at him. He smiled as he apologized. He helped Mikasa get out from under him without waking him and laid the blanket on him. She knelt down beside him and whispered. "Good night Jean." She kissed him on the cheek. She stepped away a little blush formed on her face and she asked. "How much did you see?"

He smirked. "Enough." Truly he didn't see anything but what she didn't know won't hurt her. He looked back at the taller teen that was sound asleep. At long last he could get some peaceful rest. He walked over to him and leaned in whispering. "If you break her heart you'll have to answer to me." He was only half sure he saw his eyes flutter.

A smile formed across Jean's face as he curled in tighter mumbling. "Mikasa."

Eren for a moment thought about waking him up in case he was having dirty dreams about Mikasa but decided to let it go. He walked towards the stairs seeing Armin and Connie standing at the top of the stairs.

Connie yawned loudly and was shushed by Eren while Armin asked.

"Is he okay?" asked Armin

Eren nodded. "Yeah. Sleeping like a log."

"Good. He better not wake us up again." Said Connie turning back to the dorm saying good night.

Armin yawned. "I'm glad though. I was worried about him." He said good night as well and headed back to his room.

Eren looked at Mikasa. His expression was almost unreadable as he glanced over to the teen on the couch. "You don't have to go to bed you know."

She raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

He looked almost uncomfortable as he said. "Maybe you should… stay with him… he…" He frowned and tried again. "He likes you, you know."

She reached for her scarf forgetting he had it. "I know." She blushed. She realized that he must not have seen them like she thought. She blushed harder she did want to stay with him but… "I can't." she whispered. She walked away hoping Eren didn't notice how much she was blushing. She heard him head back to the dorm. Her footfalls quickened until she reached the girl's dorm. She sighed as she walked in. She would had loved to stay there with Jean but this was not the time or place to look for love. She scolded herself as she got into bed. She tried to forget what happened. She tossed and turned. She reached for her scarf forgetting it was gone. She blushed thinking about Jean and the kiss. She touched her lips realizing they still felt tingly from the kiss. She sighed she had never felt this way before. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to date Jean; maybe she should give him a chance. She smiled she decided that tomorrow she would try to return his feelings. Sleep took her quickly after that and she was glad.

The next morning, Jean woke up on the couch. He stretched and yawned. He hadn't slept that good in months. He wondered if he dreamed the whole thing until he realized he had something in his hand. Holding it up he realized it was Mikasa's scarf. He smiled and held it closer to his face inhaling her smell. Okay so it was a little creepy but still…

He sat up he did have a blanket on him so that wasn't a dream either when Eren laid a blanket on him than threatened him. He considered going back to sleep for a moment when he saw someone approaching. Crap.

"Morning Jean." Said Armin.

"Morning Armin." At least it was Armin and not Levi or Erwin. He went to get up but he stopped him.

"Erwin said you can stay in bed. He's given us the day off." Armin said with a smile. "We… he knows what has been going on." He walked over to the fire place and tried to get the fire going again. "Sorry. We had to tell him… we were worried."

"We were worried?" he questioned.

He nodded as he flipped a log with the poker. "Yeah… all of us had noticed that you… you seemed so…"

"Weak."

He glanced at him. "Weak? I wouldn't say that."

He studied his hands for a moment. "I am weak. I'll admit it."

He turned away from the fire place. "I didn't want to upset you… we didn't know how to help… but we wanted to…" Feeling awkward he suddenly said. "I'll get you some breakfast." He dashed off.

Jean sighed and laid back down still holding the scarf. He wondered who this 'we' that Armin kept talking about was. He pulled the blanket up past his shoulders and held the scarf tightly. He felt himself falling back asleep when he heard.

"Jean."

It was Mikasa. A blush spread across his face as he sat up wondering if he had really… kissed her or did he dream it. He had often dreamed about being with her before but…

She held out a tray of food. "I have your breakfast."

"Thanks." He said taking it. He ate at it as she sat down beside him.

"Did you sleep well?"

He nodded. "For once yeah." Awkwardness was in the air he had to ask he had to know. "Mikasa," he started. "Did I…" He sighed she was staring at him with a cold look again. He finally found his courage and asked. "Did I kiss you?"

Mikasa's eyes widened a bit. She had two options lie to him and make him think he dreamt it or… tell him embrace him and act on these strange feelings. She blushed and nodded. "Yes… that is how you got my scarf." She saw how red he got.

He almost jumped up off the couch from the shock. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I didn't I mean, I was asleep and I uh."

She smiled though not a broad one but it was one. She laid her hand on his and whispered. "It's fine Jean." She blushed holding his hand tighter. Maybe she was wrong maybe being with him wouldn't cause the world to end. She did like him maybe she could even love him. She wondered where that even came from as her heart fluttered.

"Still I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." He looked away.

She wanted to show she cared. Lifting his hand she kissed it lightly. She saw her scarf resting on the couch a smile came across her face as she picked it up. She heard Jean apologizing again saying she could have it back but instead, she leaned over planting a kiss on his lips hoping he understood what she wanted to tell him and she placed the scarf around his neck. "Keep it." She whispered in his ear. She ran her hands down his chest as she pulled away. "I think you need it more than me." She kissed his cheek and laughed at his dumbstruck expression.

He rubbed his fingers on the scarf and smiles to himself. "Thank you and thank you for helping me…" She got closer to him and he wrapped his arms around her. Thanking her again he rested his head on top of hers. He was just happy to have someone with him a friend a… girlfriend? A content sigh escaped his mouth. He wished Marco was still alive so he could tell him that he finally got the girl of dreams. A nearly perfect moment when he heard.

"Again? I'm getting really tired of finding you in compromising positions, Mikasa." There was Eren frowning with his arms crossed.

Jean jumped letting go of Mikasa. "Sorry I uh." He noticed that Eren looked at the scarf around his neck. For a moment he felt the urge to cover his face with it like Mikasa did but he didn't.

The shorter teen smiled briefly. "You know… if you upset her I'll break your jaw." He turned to walk away. "Your food's going to get cold." He then left the two alone.

Jean wondered what happened when Mikasa got up. "Oh don't go."

"You need to eat. I seem to be distracting you." She walked away but looked back at him. "Don't worry about Eren. I think he likes you a little bit."

He watched her leave. He smiled reaching up to the red scarf that now adorned his neck. He ran his fingers along the bottom of it. Something about it was soothing. He couldn't tell if it was the material or the fact it was Mikasa's and she gave it to him. He ran his fingers over it feeling every imperfection within the threads. He held the ends of the scarf tight as a smile came across his face. He honestly felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Although he was well aware that something as simple as what Mikasa had done would "cure" him of his nightmares this was a good patch. He stood up forgetting his breakfast he wasn't interested in it. He wanted to be with everyone not isolated like he had the plague.

He walked to the mess hall where he could hear everyone laughing and talking. His heart still felt heavy. Flashes of the nightmare plagued his mind. He clutched the scarf as he scanned the room for Mikasa. Without giving it any thought he pulled the scarf over his mouth much like he had seen his love do so many times before.

He walked up to her looking for his courage once again. "Mikasa." He said which came out muffled. He soon realized that Eren and Armin were with her as all ways. The two stared at him as he tried to collect himself. "Mikasa, I,"

He was stopped when she stood up and removed the scarf from his mouth. He truly felt naked without it. He tried again he wanted everyone to know even if Eren wanted to kill him afterwards. "Mikasa I love you." He said in a quick breath. He reached for the scarf and considered covering his face again when she said.

"I know you told me last night." She looked at her friends assessing the situation before she continued. After seeing the disapproving look from Eren she decided to leave it at that. "Right before you fell asleep."

Sleep confessing and sleep kissing. He soon realized he acted way better around her when he was asleep. He looked away briefly then said. "I couldn't remember if I did," he looked back at them. "But I wanted to thank you guys for helping me. I know I can be a bit of a,"

"An asshole." Said Eren flashing a brief glare at him.

"Yeah, so thanks for your know everything." He sighed and pulled the scarf up to his face wishing for a moment he could disappear. He felt a hand on his arm and realized it was Mikasa's. She pulled him closer and hugged him while she pulled the scarf away from his face again.

"You look better this way." She whispered so low the other two defiantly didn't hear it.

Eren stood up and the first thing Jean thought was that the shorter teen was going to break his jaw. Instead the teen patted him on the shoulder much like Marco had done all the time. "That's what friends are for." He smiled more to Mikasa than to him and said. "You maybe a jerk but I still consider you a friend, sometimes." He moved his hand away. "After all you did pretend to be me so that I could escape."

"That wasn't for you." He said with fake venom in his voice for once. He felt Mikasa tighten her grip on his arm as Eren yelled.

"Hey horseface!" He nodded to Mikasa and added. "Take good care of her."

He was floored. Did he just get Eren's blessing to be with Mikasa? He wasn't going to question it or wonder about it for too long.

Armin cleared his throat. "I hope everything works out." He got up to follow Eren. "But next time whenever you have nightmares, just talk to us. After all, we all have our own nightmares to deal with." And with that he was gone too.

Without thinking he took Mikasa's hand and smiled at her. She flashed a quick smile back as the two left together holding hands.

Several weeks went by and Jean had slept soundly. No nightmares or anything. He spent most of his nights clinging to Mikasa's scarf though Eren suggested that he give it back to her. Although sometimes the nightmares did come back but this time he had friends to talk to about it. A least a few times though he would be unable to sleep. But in those times he couldn't sleep no matter what day it was or time at night it was whenever he would return to the main seating area he would find Mikasa waiting for him with a cup of tea and a blanket.

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this story. Jean and Mikasa are my OTP. Please review and favorite :)**


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